SATIRE TASK:

  • Coming to terms with turning thirty:
  • 1. Realise that your best years are behind you. Once you have come to terms with this crushing inevitability, knowing that your childhood was wasted due to lack of maturity, and that your teens were somewhat unfulfilled due to school and sleep deprivation; you will feel liberated. Because you can now lounge about, using excuses of having much weaker joints, long work hours and monotony, to prohibit you from doing anything of substance or interest at all.

 

  • 2. Realise that with the gaining of a year from 29 to 30 marks you as ancient. Therefore you are now considered wise beyond comprehension to anyone below you in age. Seize this new found opportunity to talk down to those in their twenties, and to remind the youth of today that back in your day everything was so much better than it is now. Remember that while executing this, don’t let on that the unfamiliarity of today’s technology and the new cultural shift is in reality terrifying to you, to the point of opposition of change. 

 

  • 3. Realise how numbered your days are. The grim reaper is just around the corner, so I would take these words to your early grave, “I have not died today, but maybe tomorrow. ” Maybe the closeness of death will even motivate your ancient joints locked within your blandly formalised lives to go out and take back the other 70 years of life ahead of you. 

Respond now!